Saturday, December 17, 2011

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)



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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown



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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope


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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller
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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown
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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown




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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown



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