Friday, December 16, 2011

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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown



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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth



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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990


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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown




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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown
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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore



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