Friday, December 16, 2011

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640



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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836



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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz
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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey


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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons




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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter



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