Friday, December 16, 2011

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost



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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968


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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
    --------------
    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson




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  • --------------
    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
    --------------
    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
    --------------
    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
    --------------
    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
    --------------
    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
    --------------
    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth



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